Acta Est Fabula

Success!

A new personal best by 7 minutes... again!

My 4 marathon times to date, in order, have been: 3:59, 3:52, 3:45, and now 3:38!! (So all I need to do to qualify for Boston is run 4 more marathons...)

It really could not have gone any better. Feast your stats-lovin' eyes on these splits:


I absolutely powered home. I felt like a million bucks. At the end I reckon I could have run, like, another 100 feet, at least. It was so satisfying, after all this prep, to be picking off all the dead soldiers, all the walking-wounded, and the zombie runners who had passed me (or not) earlier in the race. I couldn't resist whispering: "paleolithic diet motherfucker" as I pounded past them like the powerful paleolithic prick I am.

The conditions for The Avenue of the Giants Marathon were perfect. It had been raining quite heavily leading up to the start, but stopped just in time. As a result the forest was freshly rinsed, and the air quality was perfection. To boot the temperature was an ideal 54 degrees. Running through those magnificent ancient trees is a truly uplifting spiritual experience... I'm told. (I just imagined I saw the flicker of dinner in the distance, between the trees, and that I had a spear at the ready, and a hungry grubby family waiting back in the cave.)

My half-way split was the slowest of any marathon I've done, at 1:51. So also for the first time in a marathon I had a bitchin' negative split; -4 minutes! (thanks in no small way, I reckon, to veal livers.)

Here's where it starts to get freakydeaky. When I was done I strolled over to the food tent. On offer were bananas, oranges, bagels and corn chips. I was expecting to fall upon them like a rabid mongoose, but I didn't. I couldn't. I couldn't eat the carbs. They just didn't appeal... I stood there wryly chewing on my 'nanas and oranges, silently pouring scorn and derision on the bagel-eaters.

The transformation is complete. I am Paleo Man! Raaaaaaaarrrrr!

Well... that lasted until Emma pulled out her Peanut Butter Fudge Bars, and then I ate like 10 of those. Fuck they're good! I could feel the sugar coursing through my veins, making my skin all prickly and my eyeballs bulge out like this...









I never did get that cheeseburger. Maybe this week I'll go for one, if I have time... I think I need to ease into it, with a little time to reflect. I had oatmeal for breakfast this morning, but it wasn't without a little poignancy and nostalgia [that was quick! -Ed], that I solemnly dribbled some half'n'half into my coffee at the coffee shop...

Epilogue

I'll post some photos when they come in. Also of note, Emma ran it (her first marathon) in 3:30, thereby qualifying for Boston. Outstanding! A star is born!